Top Ten Reasons to Love Megan Fox

From the following comment that was made in regards to the "Top Ten Things to love about the new Transformers Movie":

Anonymous said...

"Well I personally think that you're list is wrong Megan Fox should be number 1 due to her being f*cking sexy as hell and if you don't agree with me do the world a favor find the nearest tall building and jump your homosexual ass off the building and die."

And you know that’s my fault. She was hot to begin with, and gained substantial hotability though exposure since July 3rd. It I would have seen any footage of Megan Fox from Transformers I think I could have easily moved her up the list and out of number nine. But I’m not going to do that, because she deserves her own list, so behold, “The Top Ten Reasons to Love Megan Fox”. Hopefully Ms. Fox will google herself at some point and find this list and she’ll mention it on her next interview. Then BITTT would really be crazy. Well, we can all dream. But if it’s a dream about Megan Fox it would have nothing to do with a blog plug-in that’s for f*ckin sure.

So here we go in no particular order:

10. She was in the TV series Hope and Faith – They successfully got guys to watch this show. Whoever decided to get rid of one daughter and replace her with a new, far hotter daughter knew what the f*ck was up. I guess all the executives were sitting around the boardroom one afternoon and they were looking at the statistics of the demographics of the show, and were like, “Well, we stuck Kelly Ripa in the show and that doesn’t seem to be working. Dudes are just not watching this so here’s what we gotta do.” We have to throw in the hottest chick we can find into the cast. I know we can’t really introduce any new characters so let’s just replace the daughter. No one will ask any questions and will definitely not care once they see her. Yeah, this will work great, and we’ll only have her in it periodically so guys will stay tuned into the show hoping that she will walk onto the set at any given time.”

9. She was also in the far better TV series Two and a Half Men – Megan Fox in this show was like an added bonus. It would be like picking up a hot chick at the bars one night and getting her home and finding out she has a fake rack…..and she makes you breakfast in the morning before letting you leave without saying a word. Because first of all, you have Charlie Sheen who is awesome. You gotta love someone who has slept with half the country and let’s everyone know about it. So a show about Charlie Sheen basically portraying his real-life persona has to be a bit hilarious…which it is. But then you throw in the bonus, the breakfast as it may, the breakfast being Megan Fox. So not only are you enjoying yourself with the TV show alone, but you have an entire episode dedicated to Megan who prances around in pretty much nothing the whole show. It’s like I just got a $100 bill out of the bank machine when I only asked for $20. Jackpot!

8. She is engaged to super/mega/ultrastar Brian Austin Green – Why is this even on the list you ask? Well with Megan Fox being engaged to the guy he gets his own entry. And it’s not like I get to say much about the 90210 cast member. I just get to actually type, “Brian Austin Green”. It’s not too often that many people get the joy of doing this. How did he ever hook up with her? It just seems like as soon as she got to Hollywood Brian Austin was broke down in his Hyundai Accent on the highway beside the sign that says, “Welcome to Hollywood”, and she was concerned and stopped to see what was up. And that’s where it all began. I just don’t know how else this could have happened. At least drive a little further and maybe she would have run into Vinnie Chase and his entourage. Now that would have been a story.

7. She starred alongside a trainwreck in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen – Back before the brief time of Lindsay Lohan being hot, Megan Fox starred in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen with her. How do I know this? Not from the internet, not from what people have told me, but because of a girlfriend. Again, executives nailed it precisely. Put a hot chick in anything and guys will watch it. This is the one and only reason I actually witnessed the end credits of this crapfest. This movie is terrible from what I remember. It’s not terrible in the “this is a chick flick terrible.” It’s terrible in the, “This is just a terrible movie regardless of it being a chick flick…..but it has a really smoking, unknown, hot chick in it so I’ll watch it terrible.” All I can say is when she asked me what I thought of the movie I only answered with, “Who was that!!!”

6. She has AMAZING Eyes – OK, I think we’ve already established that physically she is flawless. But her eyes are definitely one of her best features. They are so insanely sexy it’s unreal. This is easily the first thing I ever noticed in her. I’m telling ya, the first time you see them you’ll know what I’m talking about. And if you haven’t seen Transformers yet, and the scene in the classroom comes up, you will briefly forget that there are giant, talking, transforming robots in the movie. I said briefly though…soon after action ensues.

5. Megan Fox was born May 16, 1986 - Not only does that put her in the superhot, twenty-one year old stage, but that means her career is just starting. Get ready to see her in an onslaught of movies. With the young age she can portray anyone from a high-school student to a young lawyer. I can almost anticipate her being teamed up with like Matt Damon as a young protégé who “shows promise” in the legal business, or a tormented, rebellious daughter of Julianne Moore who ran away from home and her abusive step-father Dwight Yoakam. In actuality, I don’t care if she does “Scream 4”, or “Of Course I F*ckin Know What you did Eight Summers Ago”. If she’s in it, I’m watching it.

4. Megan Fox has a lot of tattoos – There is a poem on her ribcage, a symbol for strength on her back. She also has Marilyn Monroe on her forearm, a star on her ankle and on her shoulder she has the line “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies” from Shakespeare's King Lear. In addition to all that, she has Brian’s name as she puts it, “tattooed next to my pie". That’s a great way to put it, and how hot is that. It’s hard to say how these tattoos are going to pan out. Everyone knows that tattoos are great ehn you first get them, and then you just get bored of them over the years. But with her history she’ll just keep covering them up like a new coating of paint. It doesn’t really matter because they look pretty damn good on her regardless of how many she gets. It’s really hit or miss with girls and tattoos. Some look really bad on some girls, and others look great.

3. Megan Fox is in Transformers – OK, let’s just say it. No one was ever going to criticize Transformers for the acting for one. This isn’t Good Will Hunting. The plausibility was another thing you just really had to leave at the concession stand. I said it before and I’ll say it again. It’s a movie about giant alien robots from another planet….that’s it. But for those weak scenes of an actual story, Megan Fox made it worth watching. I mean come on, how great was the scene at the party where she checks under the hood? How hot did she look? As a side note, it must be really sh*tty starring in a movie with her and then the 85 days of shooting are over and you can’t date her. Sorry Shia Labeouf and dman you Brian Austin Green!

2. Megan Fox is the complete package – She probably will not ever win an Academy Award or anything like that, but physically Megan Fox is perfect. It’s good to see that someone finally is here to fill the void of non-hotness that has taken over theatrical movies lately. Who have we had to even look forward to? Jennifer Garner, Liv Tyler, Lindsay Lohan? I have no idea. The only one close is Elisha Cuthbert who will soon be getting down and dirty in her new movie Captivity.

1. You know who Megan Fox is - She is crazy popular already and she hasn't even really done anything yet. Now that's some serious appeal. Not everyone will know her name, but they know what she looks like. This is just the start. Hopefully she won't put out an album or have a clothing line or some stupid sh*t later on down the road. And remember Megan Fox, don't do too much and overexpose yourself. Overexposure is not good. You need just the right amount of it to have longevity. We want to se you, just not in everything we watch and hear about. This overexposure is NOT good...just ask Jennifer Lopez.

Megan Fox on Two and a Half Men
Megan Fox on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Megan Fox in Killer3 Pontiac Commercial
Megan Fox with Bumblebee in Transformers

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